Well, folks, this is it. I quit my job as a guitar tech after almost 7 years of practice, to go back to school. It's a leap of faith, in a way, but I'm confident in my abilities to tackle this project. That being said, I would like to point you in the direction of my new blog, which may or may not be of any interest to you. It has nothing to do with guitar repairs, and everything to do with my experiences as a "mature student", returning to college, and trying to get accustomed to being surrounded by teenagers.

I'll leave you with a few valuable lessons I learned while working as a guitar tech:

1. Never lend your tools out, unless they're being used within eyesight. Nothing worse than reaching for your favourite screwdriver, only to realize that you lent it out yesterday and they never returned it, and you don't even remember who you lent it to.
2. Always keep your tools sharp. Dull chisels and files don't cut, and you'll have to work extra hard to achieve the desired result. Dull tools also increase the chance of injuries.
3. Do a dry-run! Especially when gluing and clamping things, always go through the motions before applying the glue. You might find that you need to make adjustments to the positioning of things, and better to do it before the glue is setting!
4. Pre-drilling holes prevents screws from splitting wood. 'Nuff said.
5. Quote high. Even though an estimate is an estimate, most people scream when the cost of a repair takes longer or costs more than what was quoted. Overquote to give yourself some leeway. If it goes under, they'll be happy!

And so on and so on. If I think of anything more to say on the subject of guitar repairs, I will definitely post again.

So long and thanks for paying attention!

Great expectations

An old beater: a guitar perfect for the beach or around the campfire. Sometimes fit for IN the campfire. These guitars usually are inexpensive, in poor shape, and probably don't play very well.

People generally have this idea that the price to fix an instrument is directly related to the cost of the instrument. Wrong! Often, "old beaters" require lots more work because they're beaters. They could have serious neck problems (a bad angle, some weird warpage), or the body could be buckling, splitting, deteriorating or rotting. The headstock could be some weird shape or size that makes installing new tuners a big song and dance. The bridge could be breaking or coming off, taking some of the (cheap plywood) top with it.

Some people also cling to this idea that anything is fixable, and even worth fixing. You found it on the side of the road and now you want to "invest" some money into making it playable, but you don't want to spend much 'cause, like, you found it? Maybe consider doing your own repairs...

The problem, though, is that a job that normally costs, say $20, might cost more because we have to deal with uncommon sizing or spacing, things that were done wrong in the first place, or things that are rusted/seized/deteriorated. Sometimes "setting it up" just isn't possible without a host of other repairs first, or a bunch of "extra steps" (i.e.: unpleasant surprises, "The Unexpected")

Be realistic, don't expect too much from your beater. Anyway, if it played as well as a Taylor, what would be the point in even owning a Taylor?

Why we hate DIY-ers

Brilliant: install the tuning keys upside-down, just to annoy the tech. FYI upside-down, they are installed on the wrong side, and thus turn the wrong way.

Actual *REAL* Product!

If your music store doesn't carry these strings, they might not be professional. Just saying.

You won't DIE without your guitar

Today, I got a phone call from a customer who was responding to a voice message left to him by one of the other techs in the shop. The key word here is "other", meaning "not me". So anyway, the main problem here was that he wanted a pickup installed, but didn't provide the mounting screws, and we didn't have any that fit. I'll admit, it's a sucky situation, but it's one better discussed with the technician in question. Unfortunately, he won't be in until Sunday. Again, crappy situation, but sometimes in life, these things happen and if the technician isn't here, he isn't here! Now this customer understandably was a bit bummed and wanted to take his guitar back in the meantime. This happens often (like if we have to order a part and it may take some time to arrive), and here's where you should pay attention:

If the technician has already done some work on the instrument, this must be charged on the work order, and any parts used must also be charged. If I'm not the technician who is working on it, how am I supposed to know what's been done and what to charge? Case closed, wait for the technician to be in. We don't tag-team repairs.

The customer then said he was bummed because he didn't have his guitar, and that he felt like it was a bit of a hostage situation. Well ok, now we're getting a bit out of hand and passive-aggressive. Is it my fault that I'm not your technician? No. Do I regret answering the phone now? Yes. Do I wish you could take your guitar back and shove it somewhere not so pretty? Definitely. Also, you won't DIE if you don't have your guitar. You probably won't lose your job, either, and it wont break up your family. A guitar is a tool for leisure, like a video game or Sudoku book. If you go camping and can't play your Xbox, would you call THAT a hostage situation?

The point I'm trying to make is that although certain situations in life suck, they're not really a big deal compared to, like, losing your job or running over your girlfriend's cat. So when you call your guitar repair shop and they don't give you the exact answer you wanted, try to understand that there's always a reason. Our job is to serve YOU, so if there's some kind of hitch, it's not to our advantage and we'd really also prefer to have everything go smoothly and for you to be happy. We're not the enemy, so please don't try the passive-aggressive card on us; it's not helping anything.

Addendum:



The Borg are a fictional race of aliens created by Gene Roddenberry in the Star Trek universe. What is unique about the Borg is that they do not possess a sense of individuality and are all mentally interconnected, like in a big network. All information possessed by the Borg is shared, all thoughts are shared, and they operate as one.

Store employees are NOT Borg, and if you ask to speak to, say, "Gus" and Gus isn't there, you cannot expect ME to have the same information as contained in Gus's head.

Ideal conversation:

You: Hi, is Gus there?
Me: No, sorry, he won't be in until Monday.
You: oh, ok, I'll call back then. Thanks!

Real conversation:

You: Hi, is Gus there?
Me: No, sorry, he won't be in until Monday.
You: ok well, I brought my guitar in and Gus was working on it and bla bla bla...
Me: WE ARE BORG. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

Actual Rock Star Guitar

Yep, that's a can of hair product. This guy likes to always be ready for an impromptu rock show...and for those of you who would like to cop this dude's style, that's KMS California Hairplay Molding Paste.

WD-40. Miracle worker. (and no, I'm not endorsed by WD-40)

One of my absolute favourite things to use around the shop is WD-40, also commonly called (by the dyslexic, I suppose) DW-40. It's a miracle-product and does way more than just repel water (yes, it really is simply a water-repellent). Here's what I (and my esteemed colleagues) use it for:

• Cleaning old sticker residue: Sometimes a guitar has been hanging on the wall in the store for quite a while and the price tag looks all ratty and, I'm convinced, does nothing to make the guitar more appealing to a customer. So when I get it on my workbench, I like to remove the old sticker and apply a new one. However, as is the case with most stickers, there's a sticky mess left behind and nothing takes it off better than WD-40! Spray a bit on, let it soak in for 30 seconds to a minute, and then use something like a piece of wood with a good angle on it (wood won't leave scratches) to scrape it off. You can then use a piece of toilet paper, or whatever to wipe it clean. Keep using WD-40 until all glue is gone. (PS this is great for removing stickers of bands you no longer like...)

Why your cheap guitar sucks.

No offense, but it probably does. I'm not a guitar snob, I'm informed, and you could be too!

Ever walk into a guitar shop and wonder what the difference is between Gibson and Epiphone, Fender and Squier, ESP and LTD? Let me tell you, there are *tons* of differences. Without naming any names, this is how it works:

Terminology Fail: Input Jack

It's always good to be able to tell your face from your...ah, *other* end, and it's equally important to be able to differentiate an output from an input. On a guitar, the sound goes out, so it's an output jack. End of story. Anyone who calls it an input jack is wrong and should be corrected. What happens when your amp or effects pedal or mixer needs repair and you say "please fix the input jack", when it's really the output jack that is defective? Won't you look like a fool!

Coloured strings, anyone?

Actual customer guitar (and where did she even get these strings??):







Wowee...what do you think of them?

Colour Me Madd

Ok, Fender, we know you invented a couple of the world's most infamous and widely-used guitars and basses, but you don't have to reinvent *everything*. What I'm referring to is string ball-end colour-coding. Dean Markley all have black ball-ends, Ernie Ball are gold, and D'Addario have a very specific colour system. For those of us in the business of changing strings loads of times a day, we depend on the colour system to guide us because, in the end, it's a lot quicker to remember 6 colours in order than to have to refer to packaging for the right sequence.

That being said, Fender (who only recently joined the colour-coding game) went ahead and put a wrench in the works. D'Addario's gold-red-black-green-purple-silver (an order we got used to and relied on) becomes Fender's confusing gold-red-silver-green-yellow-blue.
Not a big deal, you say? Well, envision a seamstress whose sewing machine needles are colour-coded. If one company decides to mess up the colours and go with their own (for the sake of originality, or whatever), it's disastrous! Ok, maybe it's not so bad in guitar-land, but it's annoying, no?

You and your funny tunings...

OK so I got a question the other day that I thought I'd answer in blog-form. I hope he doesn't mind me quoting him...

Here's the question:
"I have a few guitars now, and I basically want to keep one in C tuning. I was wondering if this means I need to take the guitar to a tech person and get it all set properly, or is that something I can read about and have a go at myself? Truss rods scare me."

So here's the deal: string tension determines how straight or bowed the guitar neck is. Imagine a bow:


The more tension there is on the neck, the more the ends of the bow are pulled up. When you tune your guitar down (i.e.: down to C) there is less tension and so the neck is straighter (sometimes too straight), and sometimes it's like it bows backwards (we call this "backbow"--creative, huh?). Anyway, the truss rod is a reinforcing rod inside the neck that can be adjusted to compensate for bow or backbow. Still following me? OK. So when you start changing the string tension (heavier or lighter strings, alternate tunings...), you need to adjust the truss rod accordingly, to maintain the proper amount of bow (or "relief") that the neck has.

Someone, somewhere, at some point, has put it into people's heads that adjusting a truss rod is like some dangerous operation that should only be performed by a rocket scientist. Wrong. What is true, though, is that if you break the truss rod (like by over-tightening it...and you should never over tighten anything anyway!), it could be the end of the road for your guitar. Some companies install their truss rods in such a way that it can be removed, but lots don't. But it's kind of a no-brainer: if it gets tight--like, real tight--stop! Do a small bit, look down the neck starting at the top nut and going downwards towards the saddle, and repeat if necessary. Tighter= straighter, looser=more bowed. 

 

Got it? Not so bad, is it? Unless you break the truss rod, any adjustments you make can be undone/fixed by a tech. So don't break anything.

Actual Customer #1

As a guitar tech, I see lots of instruments that our customers have "fixed" themselves, some more creatively than others. These are usually so entertaining that I thought I'd post them here, as I get them.

For a first entry in my Actual Customer series, I present to you... Pencil Top Nut! (Note: I installed a real top nut and gave the customer her pencil back...)

Things I took for granted...

I spent a few hours the other night watching How It's Made videos on YouTube. If you've never watched any, I recommend that you do. I learned that there are real people at the D'Addario string factory, doing some really mind-numbing tasks like loading strings into a spinner machine (one by one!), feeding the bronze wrap wire into the loop end, and hanging finished strings on a rack. Ridiculous, and worth a watch:

Resisting the urge to keep posting interesting videos...

A setup is like a tune-up, except that you change strings and not oil...

I had started writing this blog entry on my iPhone earlier, but the entry got lost somewhere and I had to start over again (thanks, Apple!) ANYWAY, setups...

So I'm sure you've heard that it's good to have your guitar setup once in a while (especially beween seasons), but what is a setup, anyway? It's just like a tune-up for your car (the car analogy is a really good, so you'll hear me use it pretty often.) Before I start explaining setups in more detail, though, I'll save you some money by sharing a few little trade secrets with you:

1. If your guitar feels/sounds fine, it's probably fine. Since you are the one to (I assume) actually play the thing, who better to know if something's amiss? Nothing rattling, buzzing, falling off? If you play an open chord and then play its barre variant at the 12th fret and it doesn't sound all different and weird, then chances are, you're fine.
2. If your guitar starts to go out of intonation (the open string note should be exactly one octave higher at the 12th fret), try changing the strings. With grime and sweat collecting on the strings, they start to vibrate differently, and that will mess up the intonation. A lot of times, a fresh set of strings will remedy this. 

Totally gross, ACTUAL CUSTOMER'S GUITAR.

Still want to know about setups? Ok. Most shops will offer the same basic services, with a few variants at their discretion. The basics, though, will include:

• String change (probably)
• Intonation adjustment
• Neck adjustment
• Action adjustment
• Tightening any loose nuts or strap pins
• Oiling sticky tuning keys
• Checking the top nut and adjusting it as necessary
• Verifying electronics and batteries (if applicable)

When you speak to the technician (or whoever will sign your guitar in), make sure you specify what strings you'd like, what tuning you want to use, and mention any problems you'd like to have looked at (on the instrument, duh!) Oh, also, leave a real phone number where you can actually be reached (trust me, customers sometimes omit this slight, very important detail)

I hope I haven't left anything out...Got any questions? Leave a comment!

Winter's a killer!

If you live in a northern climate, winter can be fatal for your guitar. I'll explain: when it's cold, we turn on the heat. When the heat's on, the air is dry and, in turn, your guitar becomes dry. A lack of humidity causes the wood to contract and eventually crack. In my line of work, I see this all too often.

Dried-out instruments will exhibit some symptoms that are fairly easy to spot: frets will stick out on the sides and feel sharp, any nuts (like on certain tuning keys) will become loose and rattle around, and on an acoustic guitar, the top will sink down. You'll find that your action is lower and there might be buzzing where there wasn't before.

What can you do? It's easy: humidify! Your guitar (or bass, or mandolin, or oud, or whatever...) likes about 50% humidity in the air. In the winter, it's a good idea to keep your instrument inside its case, and to stick a humidifier (or "dampit") in there with it. This brings me to my next topic: humidifiers!

To Serve and Inform

Who i am: I'm a guitar tech, working out of a fairly big music store. I've been doing this for about 6 years, and I learned the trade on the job, under the gun, from a couple of guys who have been doing this for a long friggin' time. My goal here is to shed some light on the trade, but also to bring a dose of truth and reality to Internet, regarding guitar repairs. When I say "guitar repairs", I'm actually referring to most stringed instruments (with the exception of pianos and classical instruments). There's a whole lot of bull out there, mostly written by people who don't know what they're talking about. Just like owning a car doesn't make you a mechanic, owning a guitar doesn't mean you're qualified to diagnose and repair problems. I don't mean to sound condescending, but it's the same as in in any profession.

The scariest thing about the musical instrument business, is that there's nobody regulating the information that's out there. What this means is that companies can tell you pretty much anything they want, regardless of how true it is. Scary, huh? It's every man for himself, out there. As an insider, I'd like to help give you the right information, and turn you into a responsible and informed instrument owner.

Feel free to ask me questions, or suggest topics you'd like to read about. I'll do my best to answer, and I promise to be honest. With that, welcome to my blog!